Let us carry it on! This scornful number I learned from my grandfather, who was singing it in the 1920’s:

**

“Son-of-a-bitch Columbus”

In Fourteen-Hundred and Ninety-Two
A Dago from I-Tally
Roamed about the streets of Spain
And slept in every alley

‘Cause he knew the world was round-o,
And that it could be found-o!
That geographical, mathematical
Son-of-a-bitch Columbus

He went before the Royal Queen
To beg for ships and cargo
He swore upon his bended knee
He’d bring ’em back Chicago

‘Cause he knew the world was round-o,
And that it could be found-O!
That geographical, mathematical
Son-of-a-bitch Columbus

She sold her watches and pawned her rings
Just to get him started
Columbus didn’t give a damn
He turned around and farted

‘Cause he knew the world was round-o,
And that it could be found-O!
That geographical, mathematical
Son-of-a-bitch Columbus

For forty days and forty nights
They sailed the blue Atlantic
The Captain had to screw so bad
That he was damn near frantic

But he knew the world was round-O,
And that it could be found-OH!
That geographical, mathematical
Son-of-a-bitch Columbus

The Captain had a one-eyed Mate
And loved him like a brother
They went up on the forward deck
And corn-holed one another

‘Cause they knew the world was round-O,
And that it could be found-O!
That geographical, mathematical
Son-of-a-bitch Columbus

Upon the shore they spied a Whore
And off came shirts and collars
They landed and within the hour
She made a thousand dollars

‘Cause they knew the world was round-O,
And that it could be found-O!
That geographical, mathematical
Son-of-a-bitch Columbus

The Captain spied an Indian maid
And straightaway pursued her
The white of an egg ran down her leg
The son-of-a-bitch had screwed her

‘Cause he knew the world was round-O,
And that it could be found-O!
That geographical, mathematical
Son-of-a-bitch Columbus!